The Hurt Without, The Hurt Within
by ink-addict
Summary: More RishidShizuka fluff. In explaining his scars, Rishid thinks on the pain he has been through. Sometimes the worst hurt is invisible to the eye. RishidxShizuka. Warnings: brief mention of physical and psychological abuse.


Another piece of Rishid/Shizuka fluffiness. Kind of a companion piece to Beginnings, but I think it could also stand on its own as a short fic of the drabble-ish kind. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters here, and the last time I checked I was making absolutely no money WHATSOEVER for writing these fics. Ah, if only…

Well, on with the fic, then!

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"It wasn't supposed to rain today!"

Rishid glanced at Shizuka out of the corner of his eye. "I'll file a complaint first thing tomorrow morning," he deadpanned.

She giggled. "Silly." She moved closer to his side. "I only wish I had known to bring an umbrella."

They had been on a walk when a sudden spring downpour caught them by surprise. Luckily it wasn't too cold outside, but both of them were getting thoroughly soaked as they hurried back towards Rishid's apartment. Even the jacket that Rishid was holding over their heads wasn't doing much good.

They reached the apartment fifteen minutes later. Shizuka jumped up and down, chilled, while Rishid fished for the key in his pocket.

"Cold?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just a little. Just need to change into some dry clothes, I think."

Rishid would never admit it out loud, but he rather liked the current shirt she was wearing. It looked very…nice, the now-translucent cloth clinging to her skin. It also reminded him again that she was cold.

Hearing the click as the door unlocked, he ushered Shizuka into the apartment, shutting the door against the dark and wet world behind them. "Come on," he said, "you can borrow something of mine to wear."

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"What do you think?"

Buttoning his new pair of dry pants, Rishid looked up, and he could suddenly found that he could not look anywhere else. Shizuka stood in the doorway, clad in one of his shirts. And not much else. If anything. Of course, it was hard to tell…the shirt was rather long on her, since he was much taller than she…

Shizuka giggled. "I take it you like it."

He managed to clear his throat. "It suits you. It looks much better on you than it does on me, actually." He peeled his soaking t-shirt off and turned to hunt in his drawers for a dry one.

Shizuka was smiling at Rishid's compliment but froze when he turned his back to her. "Oh, my God," she whispered hoarsely. "Oh, my God…"

Rishid turned back around quickly, worried. "What's wrong?" The way she was staring, however, gave him his answer. _The scars. She's never seen them before…_ He looked into her eyes, fearing a sign of horror or disgust, but found only intense concern.

"Rishid? What…what happened to your back?"

His gaze locked with hers, and he spoke quietly but steadily. "When I was younger, Malik's father became…angry…with something I had done. He…he beat me within an inch of my life. If the blades he used hadn't been white-hot, I probably would have bled to death," he added quietly. "As it was, the heat cauterized the wounds."

"Oh, my God…" she repeated. Shizuka frowned, thinking. "Wait…you mean your _father_ did this to you?"

He shook his head. "He wasn't my father…I'm not an Ishtar by blood…" His voice trailed off as he remembered the time he had accidentally referred to Lady Ishtar as "mother" within earshot of Ishtar-sama. The man had been on him in a second…

_Rishid had suddenly found himself pinned against the nearest wall, a fist tightly wound in the front of his tunic. He swallowed hard as Ishtar-sama's eyes pinned him farther back into the wall, if that was possible._

_"Don't you _dare_ refer to my wife as your mother," the man said, his voice deliberate and dangerously low. "She may have picked you up next to that well, but she is _not_ your mother."_

_Rishid swallowed again, fists clenching helplessly at his sides. He steeled himself as Ishtar-sama continued._

_"For all we know you're some bastard, some son of a whore." If Rishid had not been looking down at this point, he would have seen the cruel, mocking glint in Ishtar-sama's eyes. "They do that, you know. They can't keep the brats in the brothel so they leave them by the roadside…or next to a well somewhere." He shook the boy roughly to emphasize his last words. "You are not an Ishtar, boy. Get it through your head." He released the front of Rishid's tunic, but his words would not leave Rishid's heart._

_Shaking slightly, Rishid moved to clean the tray from the table nearby, steadying his hands as tears pricked at the back of his eyes. He forced the tears back, trying to calm his anger and frustration, at least until he was out of the room. He took a deep breath and schooled his features into an impassive mask as he straightened, awaiting Ishtar-sama's dismissal._

_The man looked up, noticing the boy. He waved a hand, disgusted. "Get out of my sight."_

_With a bow, Rishid left the room as quickly as he dared. He took another deep breath to calm himself. There would be time for tears later…_

"…Rishid? Rishid?" The voice at his side brought him out of the painful memory. He shook his head slightly, willing the past to disappear. He turned instead to look into Shizuka's eyes, which were full of warmth and concern.

"I'm sorry, love," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her hair. "What were you saying?"

Shizuka smiled, a sadness in her eyes as she leaned up to kiss him. "Does it still hurt?"

He closed his eyes briefly, drawing her closer. "Sometimes…"

She returned the embrace, her fingers smoothing over the long scars. After a moment, she slipped behind him, her arms encircling his waist. "Mmm…" she placed a kiss on his spine, hugging him closer. "I wish I could make it better for you…"

Rishid shivered involuntarily. "You already do, love. Believe me."

"Mmm…good," she said, nuzzling him and kissing his back again.

He closed his eyes, this time enjoying the pleasurable sensations that were running through him. "Gods, Shizuka," he said, placing his hands over hers, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

She smiled mischievously even though he couldn't see her face. "Life would probably be kinda boring for the both of us," she teased impishly, hooking an arm in his and dragging him toward the nearby bed.

Rishid smiled at that. "And we couldn't have that, now, could we?" He let her tug him down onto the cool sheets, kissing her as her arms hooked loosely around his neck. A low moan escaped him as she began kneading at the tightness in his back and shoulders. "Gods, Shizuka…"

She silenced him with a kiss, remaining close even when it ended. "I love you," she whispered.

A joy and relief swept through him upon hearing the words. The words he could never hear too many times… _I love you, I love you, I love you…_

"I love you, too, Shizuka." He kissed her back, almost desperately. "You are everything to me…please…please never leave me…" The enormity of his words hit him fully, and he felt a brief moment of intense anxiety before she answered.

"Never. I'll never leave you, I promise." Shizuka shifted, hands gentle against his chest. "I am yours."

He captured her mouth again in another kiss. "And I am yours," he said. He wanted to tell her how she made him feel, how she made him whole inside, but words seemed to be failing him. He ran his hands down her sides as he finally spoke again, half to her, half to himself. "It doesn't hurt anymore…"

Shizuka shivered under his touch, silken auburn hair falling against Rishid's chest as she whispered in his ear. "Good," she said, hugging him tighter. "I'm glad."

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Fin. Hope you enjoyed the fic! Now that you've read, consider step 2: review!


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